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Barney's Hide and Seek

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Reviewed by Inkhands Some games you just have to play to see how bad they really are. Of course I knew this game would be bad, even before I saw the straight 1's on the reviews here. Barney, the purple dinosaur, ranks as one of the most annoying characters ever invented anywhere and in any way. If I ever have any kids, they're staying away from Barney. Nothing but Clint Eastwood movies for my children. It seems Barney has decided he wants to play hide and seek. Hidden within each of the four stages are a few kids and a few presents. Of course none of them are hard to find, because they are pretty much in plain sight. The weird thing about the game is that of course it's designed for children under 5. It has an amazing sense of simplicity to it and that's the reason. All of the buttons on the controller do the exact same thing. They all trigger Barney to blow a kiss, but still, you can't even pause the game. You hit start and he throws a kiss. You can only jump when he's actually in an area that he can jump. If you try to jump and there's nowhere for him to jump to, he'll blow another kiss. Just how much love can one dinosaur give? The other thing that keeps the game simple, is the fact it scrolls on it's own. Leave the game idle for a few seconds and Barney will begin to dance. Then he'll start walking on his own. You can leave the entire game on and never have to press one single button. He'll walk through the entire game on his own. It only takes around 8 or 9 minutes for him to walk through all of the stages anyway. Of course if someone did choose to actually try to beat this game in some form, all they have to do is pick up all the presents and find all the kids. Of course along the way you can help a rabbit that is staring sadly at a carrot that is out of his reach. You can also pick up garbage and throw it in a garbage basket. It's Barney's good deeds of the game I suppose. Of course Barney never really knows when to be quiet in this game. He is constantly speaking. He'll see a friend and he'll be sure to comment on it. He'll see Baby Bop and he won't miss a chance to bring that up either. He'll spot a present and sound as though he's about to cry he's so happy. If you pick it up, he'll open it and tell you what it is. Such as a rubber duckie or some other sort of toy. He'll see a frog and say so. He'll see a balloon and tell you to ride on it. "We can ride on a cloud" he'll say, when it's quite obvious that's what he's doing. When he picks up a friend he tells the friend he loves them and gives them a hug. At the end of the entire game he lets you know that you're his special friend. There is no such thing as challenge in this game, but it is made for incredibly young gamers, so of course there wouldn't be challenge. Of course two year olds will probably scream when you try to get them to play it and you'll have to put the Teletubbies tape in the VCR anyway. Hopefully, this game has no replay value. I know it doesn't have any for me. There is some music in this game, all the cheery type, and the "Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony" music used with no words. Barney tells you you did great when you get a few of the presents and friends. If you only get one he says you did good. If you get nothing, he doesn't say anything and just walks away. He won't let on that he is secretly very disappointed in you and you should have done so much better. You just weren't applying yourself. The settings include underwater, a farm, and a music land. Hit the drum walking around and he'll start beating himself and you can hear that music. Barney should just start beating himself until he's unconscious. The farm lets you look at some corn stalks, complete with ears of corn attached. There are some chickens walking around too. The backgrounds have some apple trees. Barney looks like a big purple dinosaur, which is what he is. Try to walk off a ledge and into the water though. He'll hold up a stop sign and there's nothing you can do to get him to walk off the ledge. He will roll down a hill, but he sounds like he's having fun while doing it. So that doesn't count. The odd thing is, if you get down one of those hills, a balloon will be there. If you hit the balloon, it will carry Barney back up to the same hill and he can slide down it again. If he jumps he'll yell "Boing" way too often. Possibly the only thing that isn't horrible about the game is the graphics, but that's not saying much. The graphics in this game are still not that great. The backgrounds are boring and repetitive. All the kids look almost exactly alike anyway. You can see everything but their eyes while they are hiding behind a rock or a tree or whatever. The little presents are gift wrapped, but Barney will open them up when you find them for him. Why did I even bother writing this review? The game in just incredibly lame and it made me laugh it's so lame and that's one of the reasons I wrote it. I also wanted to review the game, because I was bored. Plus, I wanted to add to it's perfect score of 1 already and this will be the first game I will ever give the prestigious score of "1" to. Barney wouldn't care though. I'd probably still be his special friend. Graphics - 4/10 Sound - 1/10 Challenge - N/A Control - 1/10 Appeal - 1/10 Game Play - 1/10 Replay Value - 1/10 Overall - 1/10

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