Product Description: This national bestselling breakthrough guide (more than 400,000 copies sold in both editions) offers a realistic and accessible program to help couples heal one another and become whole together.
Amazon.com Review: When Harville Hendrix writes about relationships, he discusses them not just as an educator and a therapist, but as a man who has himself been through a failed marriage. Hendrix felt the sting of his divorce intensely because he believed it signaled not only his failure as a husband but also his failure as a couples counselor. Investigating why his marriage dissolved led him to start looking into the psychology of love. Marriage, he ultimately discovered, is the "practice of becoming passionate friends."
As a result of his research, Hendrix created a therapy he calls Imago Relationship Therapy. In it, he combines what he's learned in a number of disciplines, including the behavioral sciences, depth psychology, cognitive therapy, and Gestalt therapy, to name just a few. He expounds upon this approach in Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples. His purpose in writing the book, he says, is "to share with you what I have learned about the psychology of love relationships, and to help you transform your relationship into a lasting source of love and companionship."
Divided into three sections, the book covers "The Unconscious Marriage," which details a marriage in which the remaining desires and behavior of childhood interfere with the current relationship; "The Conscious Marriage," which shows a marriage that fulfils those childhood needs in a positive manner; and a 10-week "course in relationship therapy, " which gives detailed exercises for you and your partner to follow in order to learn how to "replace confrontation and criticism ... with a healing process of mutual growth and support." The text is occasionally dry and technical; however, the information provided is valuable, the case studies are interesting, and the exercises are revealing and helpful. By utilizing his program, Hendrix hopes you too will be able to solve your marital difficulties without the expense of a therapist. --Jenny Brown
Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: - Best relationship book
I'm a therapist and it's the best relationship book I've ever read. It has helped personally and professionally. I recommend it to all couples and anyone wanting to understand and work on having better partner relationships.
Rating: - Excellent Book: Getting The Love You Want
Getting The Love You Want is an excellent book with many insights and examples. There are helpful excercises to do to understand yourself and relationships better. I would recommend buying this book.
Rating: - Worth a Good Look
I looked at this book from a different perspective than most readers. I didn't read it as a person in need of relationship advice. Rather, I read it as a person who has been happily married for 22 years. My question was, how closely did the advice in this book match what I was doing successfully?
A bestseller since 1988, the book is separated into 3 sections:
-the first part talks about how unmet childhood needs can affect your future relationships.
-the second part talks about a marriage that can fulfil your unmet childhood needs in constructive ways.
-lastly, part three is the exercises. Here you'll be taken through a series of exercises that you can do at home that have been actually used in the author's practice. They're easy to do and involve writing.
Well, that's a rough synopsis that should give you a little bit of a feel as to how the book is set up- and what its about.
So how closely did the advice in this book match what I have been doing all this time to create a successful 22-year marriage? Perfectly- both the book and I promote the idea that you have to work at your marriage to make it work!
And perhaps that's the best piece of advice of all: find constructive ways to make you marriage better- and that's one thing this book most certainly succeeds at. Other self-help books I liked include Finding Happiness in a Frustrating World.
Rating: - Getting the love you want.
Harville's approach to relationships helps you find out who you are and how you love. I recommend this to friends all the time.
Rating: - Excellent for singles or couples!
This book was recommended to me by my marriage therapist to help my husband and I understand why we act the way we do in relationships. The book helps see what in our childhoods led to the way we act in our adult relationships. It goes on to help understand one another and grow and heal from these experiences to create a much better, healthier marriage. I highly recommend this book regardless of whether you're married or not. It could be beneficial for current relationships, understanding past relationships and future relationships.
- Best relationship book
