Product Description: For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.
When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.
There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self-respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.
After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.
Customer Reviews
Average Rating:
Rating: - Blames the unoffending partner
While this book does a good job of letting you know that ALL of the feelings that you are having about your cheating partner are valid and other people have them too, this book goes on to ask you "what did YOU do to contribute to your partner's infidelity?"
I found this to be rediculous because all I ever did was trust him, obviously to my own dismay. This book doesn't really give you the tools to try to forgive and learn to trust again. It basically says to decide if you want the relationship and then suck it up and let the past be the past.
In my own assessment, if we don't learn from history, we are doomed to repeat it. The past cannot just be left to be the past. It needs to be forgiven, but NOT forgotten. If you really want this book, let me know...you can have my worthless copy.
Rating: - Disagree with main premise
I read this as the betrayed spouse at the request of my husband (his counselor recommended it). I completely disagree with the author's statement that both partners must take the appropriate responsibility for the affair. I had absolutely nothing to do with the affair my husband choose to have. I do take 50% responsibility for the state of the marriage prior to the affair, but in no way am I responsible for my husband choosing to drop his pants with anonther (married) woman. I have been in the same marriage as my husband and I choose not to break my vows, why would I shoulder any responsibilty for the poor choice he made? Because of the author's opinion on "sharing the blame" I found it difficult to finish the book.
Rating: - Affair Help
As a marital therapist, I highly recommend this book for those who have gone through an affair!
Rating: - Too abbreviated
This says it was an unabridged version. The product that was sent to me was clearly marked "abridged." I bought the book too so I noticed how much was cut out of the audiotape. Book is excellent. Too much was missing from the tape.
Rating: - Rebuilding Trust
It works at all stages. If you are trying to rebuild your marriage or just trying to rebuild yourself, read this book. The author helps you understand what you may be going through and how the other person may feel. I also strongly recommend the author's other book I Love You. Now What?: Falling in Love is a Mystery, Keeping It Isn't
- Blames the unoffending partner
- Affair Help
- Too abbreviated
